Gisele Bündchen‘s new book is full of candid confessions, including one about plastic surgery from the notoriously private supermodel. In an interview with People magazine, Bündchen just revealed that she had a boob job after breastfeeding her kids–and she regrets it.
“I was always praised for my body, and I felt like people had expectations from me that I couldn’t deliver,” the 38-year-old supermodel told People. “I felt very vulnerable, because I can work out, I can eat healthy, but I can’t change the fact that both of my kids enjoyed the left boob more than the right. All I wanted was for them to be even and for people to stop commenting on it.”
The surgery took place back in 2015, and she reveals all the details in her new book Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life. “When I woke up, I was like, ‘What have I done?’ I felt like I was living in a body I didn’t recognize,” she says. “For the first year I wore [baggy] clothes because I felt uncomfortable.”
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The former Victoria’s Secret Angel and one of the highest paid models in the world is famously married to quarterback Tom Brady, who helped the supermodel work through her regrets following the procedure. “He just said, ‘I love you no matter what’ and that I looked beautiful,” she reveals in the memoir. “This was definitely another lesson: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But I wish I would have learned that a different way.”
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Bündchen and Brady have been married since 2009, and they have two kids together. She almost broke the internet back in 2013 when she posted a snap of her breastfeeding while in the hair and makeup chair. “What would I do without this beauty squad after the 15 hours flying and only 3 hours of sleep #multitasking#gettingready,” she wrote.
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But back in August 2010, Bündchen found herself backtracking on comments she made about breastfeeding after the birth of her son Benjamin. “Some people here think they don’t have to breastfeed, and I think, ‘Are you going to give chemical food to your child, when they are so little?’ There should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months,” she told Harper’s BAZAAR UK at the time. She took to her blog in a now-deleted post to apologize, writing: “I’m not here to judge. … I think as mothers we are all just trying our best.”
This article originally appeared on Harper’s BAZAAR US.