Britney Spears (Photo: Isaac Brekken/Getty Images)

Britney is getting real on Instagram.

In her first post following her explosive court hearing this week, Britney Spears apologized for “pretending like I’ve been ok the past two years.” She also acknowledged that she’s been putting on a happy face on social media while struggling within the confines of a conservatorship that has kept her father, Jamie Spears, in charge of her finances, professional life, and personal life.

Related article: Britney Spears Gets A Wave Of Support After A New Documentary Digs Into Her Conservatorship Battle

“I’m bringing this to peoples attention because I don’t want people to think my life is perfect because IT’S DEFINITELY NOT AT ALL … and if you have read anything about me in the news this week 📰 … you obviously really know now it’s not !!!!” Spears wrote in a post last night, referencing the bombshell revelations she made to a judge on Wednesday about her legal arrangement.

“I apologize for pretending like I’ve been ok the past two years,” she continued. “I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me … but honestly who doesn’t want to capture their Instagram in a fun light 💡🤷🏼‍♀️ !!!!”

Related article: Mariah Carey, Halsey, Brandy, And More Support Britney Spears After Her Court Hearing

Spears added that pretending to be okay “has actually helped” her cope. “I feel like Instagram has helped me have a cool outlet to share my presence … existence … and to simply feel like I matter despite what I was going through and hey it worked … so I’ve decided to start reading more fairy tales,” she wrote.

Spears gave a similar confession while speaking in court this week, saying that she “lied and told the whole world ‘I’m okay and I’m happy.'”

The singer added at the time, “I thought I just maybe if I said that enough maybe I might become happy, because I’ve been in denial. I’ve been in shock. I am traumatized. You know, fake it till you make it. But now I’m telling you the truth, okay? I’m not happy. I can’t sleep. I’m so angry it’s insane. And I’m depressed. I cry every day.”

In Wednesday’s testimony, Spears called for an end to the conservatorship, which she described as “abusive.” “I just want my life back,” she said.

This article first appeared on Harper’s BAZAAR US