Kim Kardashian

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Kim Kardashian has gotten real about the challenges of co-parenting.

In her recent appearance on the Angie Martinez IRL podcast, the reality mogul opened up about the break down of her relationship with ex-husband Kanye West. During the candid talk, the mother of four discussed how she has tried to handle his recent erratic behavior’s impact on her 9-year-old daughter North, 7-year-old son Saint, 4-year-old daughter Chicago and 3-year-old son, Psalm.

“I definitely protected him and I still will in the eyes of my kids, for my kids,” she said, adding that she’s tried her best to hide news of his anti-Semitic rants and public attacks as they finalized their divorce.

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“In my home, my kids don’t know anything that goes on, on the outside world,” she said. “I’m holding on by a thread, and I am so close to that not happening. But while it’s still that way, I will protect that to the end of the Earth, as long as I can.”

She added that she shields their children as much as possible from media coverage, and tries to maintain their positive associations with their father, even playing his music for them in the car.

“No matter what we’re going thought or what’s happening in the world, I have to have that smile on my face, and blast his music and sing along with my kids, and act like nothing’s wrong,” she said. “And then as soon as I drop them off, I can have a good cry or… do what I got to do.”

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As Kim reflected for a moment on her own father, the late Robert Kardashian, she began to tear up as she expressed a wish to give her kids a loving childhood.

“It’s hard. Sh-t like co-parenting, it’s really f-cking hard,” she said. “I had the best dad. And I had the best memories and the greatest experience. And that’s all I want for my kids. As long as they can have that, that’s what I want for them.”

She continued, “If they don’t know things that are being said, or what’s happening in the world, why would I ever bring that energy to them? That’s real heavy, heavy grown-up sh-t. And they’re not ready to deal with it, you know? When they are, we’ll have those conversations. And I’ll be so prepared. But until then, I’ll do anything to keep their life as normal as possible.”

Related article: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Have Separated After Six Years Of Marriage

Kardashian and West finalized their divorce last month. Under the agreement, the rapper pays $200k per month in child support, according to People, and is responsible for half of the kids’ medical, educational, and security expenses. The former couple have joint physical and legal custody of their four children, who live with their mother the majority of the time.

This article originally appeared on Harper’s BAZAAR US.