Much like your grandma, Kanye West has finally joined Instagram.
Of course, the entire internet (read: like a couple hundred thousand people) are eager to see his first post. Will it be something ~insane~ like a close-up of Kim’s naked bod or something boring and pedestrian like a close-up of Kim’s naked bod.
Here are my guesses as to what Yeezy’s first Instageezy could be:
1. The wing of a private jet. High flyin’ in the clouds with some models and champers. (Or with Saint and North and some bottles of milk, which is superior.)
2. His lunch. That would be so dope, especially if it was something dumb like a salad.
3. A message for Taylor. Written in notes, of course.
4. Kim’s naked ass. His most prized possession!
5. His kids. That would be cute but I just can’t see it.
6. Pablo merch. He’s broke, remember! Make that paper, bb boy.
7. A super closeup shot of something mysterious. He loves a good mystery!
8. Just a word. It could be the same of his next single, it could be a font he finds enjoyable, or it could just be an accident.
9. Something stupid that he later blames on North. It runs in the family!
10. A building he likes. Some building he thinks is as genius as he is.
11. A piece of paper with some lyrics scribbled on it. This could drive his followers’ wild — bonus points if they’re about Taylor.
12. Some new Taylor Swift audio. Like, what if he had audio that was Taylor straight-up being all, “You can call me a bitch in your song but seriously, I was famous before you said my name at the VMAs.”?!?!? That would be insane.
UPDATE 9/18/16, 11:45AM EST: He posted his first Insta!
I think I got it kinda right?! This counts as a weird building, right? What do I win?!
From: Harper’s BAZAAR US