Megan Fox opened up about the contrast between how she sees herself and how the world sees her.
The Jennifer’s Body actor gave an honest, wide-ranging joint interview with her boyfriend, Machine Gun Kelly (Colson Baker), speaking with British GQ Style about the inner self she has hidden during her Hollywood career, and her mental health in general. In the interview, she revealed that she has body dysmorphia, a pattern of obsessing over the flaws one sees in their own appearance.
“We may look at somebody and think, ‘That person’s so beautiful. Their life must be so easy.’ They most likely don’t feel that way about themselves,” she said. “Yeah, I have body dysmorphia. I have a lot of deep insecurities.”
Though she did not elaborate further on the ways her body dysmorphia specifically affects her, the Transformers actor has previously been candid about her mental struggles. In a 2019 Entertainment Tonight interview, she revealed that she had reached a “breaking point” following the release of Jennifer’s Body in 2009, after years of being sexualized by Hollywood and the media.
“I think I had a genuine psychological breakdown where I wanted just nothing to do,” she said. “I didn’t want to be seen, I didn’t want to have to take a photo, do a magazine, walk a carpet, I didn’t want to be seen in public at all because the fear, and the belief, and the absolute certainty that I was going to be mocked, or spat at, or someone was going to yell at me, or people would stone me or savage me for just being out … so I went through a very dark moment after that.”
Fox told British GQ Style that she went on a “spiritual quest” to work through her feelings about that time and take control over her response to other people’s perceptions of her.
“I did a lot of work to remove that feeling of being a victim and to realize that it was a lesson. So there was purpose in it and I didn’t have to suffer any more. It’s [made me grow] into a much more interesting human being than I would have been without that,” she said. “So it allows you the space to have gratitude for something that previously you felt persecuted by. That’s the one thing in my life I did do a lot of work on, I do feel free from.”
She also said that her relationship with Machine Gun Kelly, whom she has called her “twin flame,” has helped her become more comfortable with the “eccentric or strange” side of herself.
“I think I had either put myself in, or allowed other people to put me in, this weird box that didn’t quite fit me, where I hadn’t lived my own life as myself for a really long time—the parts of me that were always eccentric or strange and didn’t belong within my own family unit or within Hollywood,” Fox shared.
She added, “You know, famously, like, I’m an unusual person. And I had buried a lot of that because it didn’t have a place to live. That’s something that, meeting him, it’s like meeting your own soul’s reflection. I recognize so much of myself in him, and vice versa, and that locked-up part of me that I had put away.”
This article originally appeared on Harper’s BAZAAR US.
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