Thirst Trap Thursday: Skeet Ulrich

The anti-Hollywood family man who can make furniture, call out Internet trolls and never age beyond 40. By Michelle Varinata

No Friday night feels complete without the midnight ritual of Netflix and chill. Although you have the option to tune into an old movie or a Netflix original TV show, you impulsively click on Riverdale. As your secret guilty pleasure, you can ignore the Twin Peaks comparisons, crappy dialogue, bland outfits, mediocre acting, ludicrous storylines and SAT-style vocabulary. Underneath it all, the finest specimen of male beauty arrives in the form of a leather clad brunette, whose neatly trimmed beard and captivating gaze steal our hearts. Little did we realize that this grown up bad boy is the same man who once licked synthetic blood on the big screen 22 years ago. If you forgot his name, but remembered what he looked like, his name is Skeet Ulrich.

To your preteen cousin, Ulrich is newly famous. But to us, he’s been an icon since his breakthrough in Scream, the ’90s classic slasher flick where he plays serial killer Billy Loomis. (Thirsting after a murderer is never OK, but he literally slays us with those knife-sharp cheekbones!) Literally two years shy of being 50, the 48-year-old thespian can transform himself whether he’s dressed as waiter, policeman, cowboy or regular ol’ surburban teen in a white t-shirt. Most importantly, his acting chops extend to Instagram, where at least a million followers live for his lean sculpted muscles, drool inducing selfies and ageless visage.

Born Bryan Ray Trout, he first changed his last name when his mother married to D.K. Ulrich, a NASCAR driver. Attacked by a string of illnesses, Skeet’s poor health gained the attention of his soccer coach, who called the actor-in-the-making “Skeeter” since his posture resembled a mosquito’s. Like his name change, Ulrich’s journey to stardom was an accident.

Initially a marine biology student, he joined movie sets as an extra to fund his beer money. Although being on film set the spark, his foray into acting didn’t become a full-time passion until he took a job building sets for theater plays. From there, he transferred to NYU and studied with legendary playwright David Mamet. Blessed with newfound acting skills, a college degree and Johnny Depp-esque good looks, Skeet has been breaking box office records since 1996. Despite the endless comparisons to the Johnny Depp, he is nothing like the Hollywood heartthrob. (Just don’t tell Skeet that he looks like him!)

Although most actors have their eye glued to the script, Ulrich prefers to get down and dirty with a plank of wood. Blessed with self-taught carpentry skills, his deft hands can make anything at your beck and call – e.g. he made a convertible easel for his twin children’s preschool class.

Not only is he thoughtful about the needs of his twins and their classmates, this ageless sex symbol also put his movie career on hold just to raise them. Given that this move earned him some ridicule as a “forgotten ’90s actor“, we can’t help but to praise him for his efforts for keeping the kids grounded.

Apart from making furniture and being a hands-on dad, Skeet isn’t afraid to speak out. When reports of Harvey Weinstein’s sexual assault allegations were published last fall, Ulrich admitted that everyone knew. (Looking at you, Meryl!) But, this isn’t the last time that he busted the BS.

If we have one more reason to thirst over this single dad, he recently cooled the flames of one super thirsty troll who constantly harassed him after he posted a photo of him with Riverdale costar Vanessa Morgan, who plays the pink-haired Southside Serpent gang member Toni Topaz. While the photo sparked dating rumors, Skeet savagely came after the troll.

skeet ulrich

Photo: Instagram

skeet ulrich

Photo: Instagram

If you got an Instagram and you want to slide into Skeet’s DMs, just don’t do it with a finsta. After all, how can we not resist this steely-gazed ball-busting, unfiltered family man?

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